My Crooked Angel

I now have an appreciation for the very cliche description of bad news as a "bomb dropping." It really does feel like a bomb went off in my chest tonight. It's sort of a numb and tingly almost throbbing sort of ache.

I took Rowan to the doctor today just to check out a nasty cough she's had for about a week. I didn't really think it was anything serious, but I just wanted to be sure before we head into the long Thanksgiving weekend. I was right, and her cough is just a lingering cold. No problem. A few more days and she'll be right as rain.

But just before we left, I mentioned to the doc. that I was still concerned about how she still seems so crooked. She leans very prominently to the right at all times and resists being straightened out. I wasn't too concerned when I noticed it at first when she was just a few weeks old, but now that she's just over 3 months, and as she's getting stronger and able to hold herself up much better, she is still not straightening out. "Let's get an x-ray of her back, just to see." I love that my pediatrician is overly cautious and it really doesn't take much to get an x-ray out of her.

20 minutes later, and there is the wicked film in front of me. Rowan's spine is shaped like an "s." There's a word for this: scoliosis. I blinked a few times, hoping that I wasn't seeing what I thought I was seeing. My perfect, sweet baby with a crooked back. Dr. Dewbre was almost speechless for a minute, and when she did speak, she didn't really know what to say. "This is really rare in infants, Rachel. The youngest case I've ever seen was in a 2 year old."

Okay, so what does this mean? Like any parent, I had a million questions. What do we do? Is she going to be deformed? Is she going to be permanently disabled? Can we fix her? Is she going to be in pain?

No answers. The only thing I know right now is that we will be referred to a pediatric orthopedic specialist and will start physical therapy right away. I have no idea what type of prognosis to expect...if this is something serious that we will be dealing with her whole life, or if this is something that can be resolved relatively quickly. I just don't know. That's the worst part...not knowing, and having to wait a few weeks to get any answers at all.

I just don't know why this is happening...not to her. She's so innocent, sweet and perfect, the baby girl I have been dreaming of for so long. Why would something terrible like this happen to her? Now I am imagining her in a back brace throughout her entire childhood, or worse yet, in a body cast, unable to play like all the other children. Or what if we have to resort to surgery to correct her back? How can I do that to my precious baby?

There's nothing to do now but wait. That awful word...wait. But until I know any differently, I'm just going to hold her, and all my babies, a little tighter. I am thankful that her diagnosis isn't life threatening, and will probably have a good outcome. I think of all the other parents out there who have heard much worse things from their doctors, things like "cancer" and "transplant" and other nightmarish words. I know how devastated I feel right now, I can't imagine how much worse it can be.

Right now my little angel is sleeping peacefully in her cradle, warm and comfortable. But her momma's heart is breaking.

Found!

So Kalena found my glasses. They were under the couch, along with my sunglasses. I guess that's where the spectacle gnome lives.

And I was so sure David looked there...

Lost

How many things can I lose in two weeks? Seriously. It's getting beyond ridiculous. First, I lost my glasses. I laid down on the couch for a rest, fell asleep, and the glasses-gnomes carried them off to spectacle land. Now I've been nearly blind for two weeks, just barely managing to navigate the roadways using my prescription sunglasses. This was interesting a few days ago when it was overcast, cloudy and quite gloomy. I'm sure I looked like a lunatic driving around in my very dark glasses. That was all fine and good--I'm used to looking like a nut--until, like my glasses before them, my sunglasses disappeared into the great unknown. So now I am even endangering my children's very lives every time I get behind the wheel. I figure since I drive a veritable tank, if we do wreck, it probably won't be fatal. Oy.

A few days after my glasses turned up missing, I managed to lose the keys to said tank. I was scrambling around frantically trying to find them so that I could pick Kalena up from school, until I remembered the spare that is hanging from a very rusty wire under the chassis of the Suburban. So I made it in the nick of time...but still didn't have keys. Until Isaac comes prancing into the kitchen last night, jingling my keys in his hand. Where were they, you ask? He took it upon himself to go and bury them in the cushions of the recliner in the play room. Great. Are my glasses there, too? No dice.

So then, this morning, while I'm desperately trying to complete our morning routine twenty minutes earlier than usual so I can take Wolfie to the clinic to get the 'ol sniparoo, I realize that my credit card is missing. Oh, holy crap. I give up. Really. I'm just going to sit on the floor and bang my head against the wall until they come to pick me up and take me away to the looney bin. But one more search of my wallet, and there's my credit card..not lost at all, just shoved into a weird place where I couldn't see it. So now my blind eyes are playing tricks on me. Great. Just what I need.

What can I loose next? My sanity is long gone, so I'm not counting on keeping that... So far, I haven't managed to lose any of my children, which is probably the best news of the week, although Rowan is sick and sounds like a sad, pitiful little mouse when she tries to cry. Poor baby. I hate cold weather...it always brings the sniffles, coughs and runny noses that are really bad when you have a kid and almost unbearably overwhelming when you have four.

But, ever the optimist, I am looking forward to Thanksgiving, if for no other reason than the fact that I am madly in love with turkey and dressing. I imagine myself walking barefoot on a beach, cradling a heaping, steaming plate of thanksgiving bounty and a smile creeps across my haggard face. Aaahh, 'tis the season!

Stupid is as Stupid Does

So today I ran up to HEB because I was making chicken n' dumplins...yummy...and I needed a bigger pot. So I get my pot and a couple of other things, since I'm making a poppyseed cake, too...you know I can't just make one thing...if I do something, I have to go completely overboard. Anyway, I'm coming out of HEB with my little mini-cart (it's so cool using one of those...I didn't have any kids with me!) and I am in a big hurry 'cause I need to get home and get that chicken cooking. I notice a gathering of bright orange vests around a very fancy, very shiny, very new Toyota something-or-other SUV and a very fancy, very shiny lady with red lipstick and lots of hairspray gesturing wildly at them and shouting something about how it's not her fault. She had them all looking very afraid that she might burst into a ball of fire if her temperature got high enough to ignite all that hairspray. "Interesting," I think to myself. I'm a little too nosy for my own good.

As I'm walking by, I slow down a bit and glance at her pristine truck and realize that it has a massive, ugly scar streaking from ass-end to the front on the drivers side. So that's why she's upset...and then I can see why that nasty scrape is up the whole side of her car. It seems a big, pimped-out cherry red 1970-something Caddy has pulled in all wonky and it's rear view mirror is still gouged into the side at the front bumper.

Now I'm thinking, "no wonder this lady is upset!" I'd be pissed, too. And THEN, upon further inspection, it is clear as day why the Caddy scraped up the side of the SUV...this lady, in all her shiny and fancy glory, has parked RIGHT on the line. In fact, I think her front tires had actually crossed into the Caddy's parking space a little. Okay, I can imagine the scenario...she's in such a hurry, no time to worry if she's parked considerately so that someone else can park next to her. Probably has to get to her mani/pedi appointment or something. Seems Miss Shiny helmet-hair herself had it comin', and some dude in a tricked-out, rims shinin', wide-ass Caddy decided to show her that she ain't the only driver on the road, big brand-new silver SUV or not.

I was half-tempted to wait around and see the throw-down when the owner of the Caddy came out. But, no, I had a chicken to cook, by god. I can only imagine and laugh hysterically when I think about some big dude with gold teeth tellin' that lady right where she could put her car, probably not in terms nearly that polite. You know it was either gonna be big gold teeth or a buxom black lady with head a-bobbin, long nails a-clickin' just giving her the what-for. Oh yeah. I can see it now. Hairspray didn't stand a chance...

Didn't get it

So that about sums it up. I didn't get the job because I can't work Saturdays, and apparently that is a deal breaker. So the job hunt continues....

Mary had a little Squig

Tonight in the bathtub, I asked Isaac and Adam if they wanted to sing a song with me. I was feeling jolly for some unknown reason (probably because I got a call for a second interview at Dillards for tomorrow!) and thought it might be fun to sing with them. So I suggest Row your Boat or Wheels on the Bus. Isaac had another idea...

"Mom, why don't we sing Mary had a little Squig. You know that one, right. It's really good."

"No, baby, I don't know that one, why don't you sing it for me?"

"Maaaary had a little Squig it swims and swims. Maaaary had a little Squig. [mumble mumble mumble] if you see the Squig and its in the waaaater [mumble mumble mumble]"

"Wow, Isaac, that sure was a nice song."

"Yeah, it was pretty good."

Just to clarify, the squig is a little yellow swimming pool dive-toy that looks something like a squid with a lot of little tentacles. He waved it all around while he sang his little ditty. Even though he drives me to the brink of insanity most days, he sure can be the cutest, sweetest little boy when he tries.

Adam enjoyed the song, too, but he just sort of shouted along a lot of "bumm" (boat) and "aaah be dumm" (his standard phrase which means everything). He is so funny. He has to say goodbye to everything, so when we got out of the bathtub, I picked him up and wrapped him in his towel, and he stuck out his chubby little hand and waved at the bathtub and said, "Bye bye dums." Oh, and he tries to say Cooper, but it comes out "Pooker." That one just kills me! He's too adorable. I know I'm biased, but he is pretty stinkin' cute.

I should find out about my job tomorrow. Hopefully I'll be working part-time evenings and Sundays at Dillards by the end of the week!

Workin' Girl?

Yep, the title says it all. I am on the job hunt. Not for any 'ol job, ya see. Nope, no regular hours for me. This SAHM is looking to work nights. Barf. Oh, sorry, did I just barf? Uh, yeah, I did. The finances are dictating that we need more income in this house, so that leaves me to find employment somewhere. In just a few, I'm headed out to some local hotels to see if anybody will hire sweet lil' ol' me for their overnight desk position. After that, I might hit up HEB to see if they need an overnight cashier. But Rachel, when will you sleep? That's a dern good question. Oh well, who needs sleep anyway? I prefer to be a walking zombie...then at least I have a good excuse for going out of the house looking like a vagabond.

But on to more cheerful things....um...wait, there are no more cheerful things. The weather is suckity today and I am feeling pretty much downtrodden. But Rowan is still adorable, Isaac and Adam have been getting along really well and Kalena is really starting to read! So I guess there's my silver lining!

Wish me luck. I'm sure going to need it....

Lazy Sunday

One of the best SNL skits of all time. I'm surprised that many peeps I talk to have never seen it....it's so funny it makes me pee my pants!


And while I'm on the subject of things that rock, check out the song in my playlist by Tally Hall. Do they sound familiar? They should, because they're the voices and music behind Playhouse Disney's "Happy Monster Band." They're so cool!

A fairy, a ninja, a rooster and a kitty cat walk into a bar....

Well, maybe not into a bar...what kind of mom would I be if I took my kids to a bar on Halloween? Here's my little fairy:

Isaac, super ninja:

Adam, the cutest little rooster:

Sweet Kitty Rowan:

The kids, of course, had a blast trick or treating. Until they got tired, and then they were the whiniest group of children I've ever heard. Our Halloween started off rather interestingly...just as I was leaving to pick Gavin up from school, there in the street was a pitiful, half-dead kitten. You know me, the big sucker that I am couldn't leave it in the road to get squashed. So what do I do? Rachel to the rescue, of course, and that scraggly blind kitten ended up in my bathroom in a box. We had to take the little guy to the humane society before we could get on with our Halloween festivities. So sad.

Adam hated the little leg covers I made to complete his rooster outfit, and so he didn't wear them. Isaac lost the mask about 2 minutes into trick or treating...but most of the stuff I made they actually wore, which was exciting to me! Kalena has already decided that she wants to be a cowgirl next year which rocks because that means I don't have to make a thing! At least not for her...

Here are all the kiddos after a score!