Monday, April 27, 2009

Change in the Rain

So it seems my fate has been decided, and the weekend of June 5th, I will finally get to move into my new house! I am excited and stoic at the same time. I am in love with my house. It really has seemed like an unlikely dream, that it would never really be finished--intangible and perfect, waiting for me. But now it is almost done, and it is thrilling and terrifying to be moving. I love Waco. I never thought those words would escape my lips, but for the first time in a very long time in my life, I've found a niche for myself. I love my friends and the life I've made for myself and my kids here, and I'm afraid that moving means starting all over again, particularly because everything changes next school year. I won't be a Stay-At-Home-Mom anymore, which is pretty much my total identity to speak of. It is scary to think I have to reinvent myself as a Working Mom, make new friends in my new situation, keep in touch with all my dear friends that I won't get to see as often and figure out how to best mother my kids without being with them all day, every day. Right now the rain is pouring down, and it matches my mood: melancholy, heavy, rejuvenating. A new beginning. I am ready to start out on this new branch of my life. It is one of those forks in the road of life for sure, and my new path is really still shrouded in mist, but I am confident there are birds chirping on the other side.

4 comments:

Katy said...

You sound exactly like me every time we move. And, we may be moving again this summer, too. In one sense it's sad and hard to think about moving on to another chapter in life. In another sense, it is exciting and thrilling. I am so excited for you, your famiily, your new house, your new career and your new chapter!!

NICO Designs said...

Well said! I think we, as Moms, are very hard on ourselves about our roles and what we do. You are so much more than a SAHM; you are a really kind person that others want to befriend and hang out with. Your kids have been lucky that you were able to stay home for so long and I am sure that you will still be just as wonderful a mom to them even while working. In fact, maybe the new 'role' will make things even better--you will be forced to make your time with them quality...

congrats on the date for the move and for finding a job!!

erika

Jackie said...

As sad as it all is that you, Julie and I are all going our own ways in the very near future, it's also kind of exciting that the three of us are doing it around the same time!

dande: Jackie thinks it's just dande that it's all happening together!

Anonymous said...

Jackie is right-it is a good thing we are all doing this together or it would be extremely traumatic. Rachel, you are a chameleon. You adapt brilliantly to every situation that comes your way. I have always told you if anyone can do it you can!!
julie