Monday, April 27, 2009
Change in the Rain
So it seems my fate has been decided, and the weekend of June 5th, I will finally get to move into my new house! I am excited and stoic at the same time. I am in love with my house. It really has seemed like an unlikely dream, that it would never really be finished--intangible and perfect, waiting for me. But now it is almost done, and it is thrilling and terrifying to be moving. I love Waco. I never thought those words would escape my lips, but for the first time in a very long time in my life, I've found a niche for myself. I love my friends and the life I've made for myself and my kids here, and I'm afraid that moving means starting all over again, particularly because everything changes next school year. I won't be a Stay-At-Home-Mom anymore, which is pretty much my total identity to speak of. It is scary to think I have to reinvent myself as a Working Mom, make new friends in my new situation, keep in touch with all my dear friends that I won't get to see as often and figure out how to best mother my kids without being with them all day, every day. Right now the rain is pouring down, and it matches my mood: melancholy, heavy, rejuvenating. A new beginning. I am ready to start out on this new branch of my life. It is one of those forks in the road of life for sure, and my new path is really still shrouded in mist, but I am confident there are birds chirping on the other side.