Can we ever get it? I mean, are we ever totally satisfied with what we do in life? I'm sitting here, in MY store, my own shop, wondering if this is as good as it can be. I'm critically evaluating every single product, the prices on them, the window display...why can't I just look around with satisfaction, and realize that my dream is coming true? Maybe it's the enormous amount of pressure I feel to make Pinwheel Kids successful. Not only is our future tied up in this, but my business partner has a lot invested in me as well. I feel like I HAVE to do everything I possibly can to make this store a success. And at the same time, I don't want to lose out on the joy. The joy I feel when I can help a new mom pick out the perfect baby carrier, or when a grandma comes in and finds a toy she just knows her grandson will love. Is there such a thing as a happy medium, a balance in life? And how in the heck can I find it?
I keep telling myself to be patient. Just let things run their natural course. If Pinwheel Kids is meant to be, and I just KNOW it is, then it will take off on its own. And things are already off to a great start! But I always wonder, could it be more? Could I be doing more? Should I be?
And in this equation, I have to add in the happiness of my family. I know how easy it is for me to become consumed, and I don't want to lose those precious moments with my kids because my focus is so much on the store. This is all uncharted territory for me, just like when I started teaching last year, and I guess I just don't know what exactly to expect. But even though my life is definitely 180 degrees different than what it was a year ago, I have to say that it's definitely in an exciting, good place. Just a little....okay, a LOT.....scary.