Wednesday, May 6, 2009

No change

I weighed again this morning right after running, and I'm back up to 226. What the crap? I realize that it's probably just muscle mass, and I realize that I have to be patient. But I've been slaving away every morning for a month now, and only have a measly 7 pounds lost to show for it. My clothes don't fit any better, and I really can't see any change when I look in the mirror. I know I shouldn't be, but I am so disheartened. Especially with all the other chaos going on in my life right now (i.e. job hunt, imminent move, etc.), I was really hoping to have something positive to encourage me. I am dreading going to Hawaii in six weeks and having to squeeze my gigantic butt into a swim suit. I don't have any clothes that I like to wear, and I'm sure as heck not buying anything new right now. I just want to be happy with my body again. Right before I got pregnant with Rowan, I had finally started to lose inches and felt so great. I was happy with the way I looked, even though I wasn't super skinny. I don't have irrational dreams of being a size 2. I just want to be healthy and comfortable in my skin. I am feeling healthier overall, so I know the exercise is helping, but I just want to have my confidence back. There are days that I walk by a mirror and wonder who the fat girl is looking back at me. I don't identify with her at all, and I hate feeling so disconnected from myself.

I refuse to give up, though. I wonder if I need to do something to jump-start my metabolism and my weight loss. I am going to give Jackie's crazy cleanse a try for a week, and see if it helps. I know my stress eating isn't helping me in my plight, so I am trying hard to watch what goes into my mouth. Every day I slip up, though, but today is a new day, and I have another chance to do it right.

Wish me luck, peeps!


Katy said...

I'm sorry your are so discouraged. Keep up the motivation, though!

Hawaii?!?! WOO HOO I haven't been there since I was 6 wks old (seriously).

Sandra said...

You can do it! I know how easy it is to lose hope and want to hid in a corner, but you can't. You have to realize that there are millions of people going through the same battle and not everything works for everyone. But you can do it!

mp said...

Good for you for not giving up! Feeling discouraged, sure, but never give up.

Let me remind you of the magic formula people tend to forget. It's really easy:
Eat like Crap + Don't work out= weight gain

Eat like crap + Work out = you'll maintain the weight your at

Eat Healthy + Work Out = Lose weight

I know how easy it is to slip up, (I had a slize of pizza for breakfast today because it was leftover from our pizza last) but just try really really hard to eat healthy all week and reward yourself one day during the weekend.

And with little ones in our backseat, we all tend to go through the drive through too often, but girl, get yourself a grilled chicken wrap hold the mayo/ranch with a Diet DP and your good to go. You Can Do It!

Let me know how the cleansing goes :) Miss you!

NICO Designs said...

MP is hilarious! Must be all those years with her hubby but hse is right. Unfortunately. My doctor said: There is nothing magical about it. Burn more calories than you take in.
Wanted to slap him, too.

I started yoga last week. Already my waist is getting tighter and it has helped with my stress eating.And it seems to help with a natural cleansing... I still have 30-40 lbs to shed but this is so much better than slaving away at boot camp or even SS!!
(Richard Hittlemans 28 days of yoga for beginners)

I love your determination!!You can do it!


Ashley said...

Don't get discouraged! If anyone can do it you can!

Good luck my chica!